


Tell me you need me

by andaleduardo



Series: Richie & Eddie - requests [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, College, Drinking, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Parties, Sex is mentioned, Sort of? - Freeform, Unrequited, prompt, sort of n.2?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andaleduardo/pseuds/andaleduardo
Summary: A prompt request on my tumblr  @eds-spaghets : "Tell me you need me"Or: In college, Eddie is exploring himself and finding ways to get more action and Richie isn't a fan of it.





	Tell me you need me

Fridays are the worse, now.

It wasn't like this back in high school, or even during the first year of college. But now they're older, flourished, whatever. And now, Eddie likes to go to dumb college parties every Friday and drag Ben and Richie along.

The three of them had planned out everything once they shared that they wanted to go to the same college.  
They made it happen, stuck together, and to Richie's request, one of them had to be his roommate in the dorms. He wouldn't have it other way.

At first, Eddie said no. There's no way he'd share a small space with someone so unorganized and "lazy". But in the three seconds that had followed, he must have thought about what it would be like to share a room with a complete stranger, and he changed his mind on the spot.  
Luckily, Ben was more than okay with getting a roommate he never met before.

With that said, Richie was very pleased with the outcome. But now... Now, Eddie was different, finally free from his mother's watch.  
Richie couldn't blame him, exactly. The guy missed out on many things, and now he saw himself on his own, able to do whatever he pleased. So, that's what he did. And Richie could only hope Eddie would use his sane brain to think through everything before actually doing something.

It started the first time Eddie said they should go to a party.

Usually, Richie went to some, but only Ben had agreed to go with him, once, and Eddie always refused. So, he went alone when he felt like drinking a little and unwinding from classes. The surprising factor here was, _Eddie_ showed interest in going to a party.

They went, drank a little, enjoyed themselves. Richie had the amazing experience of seeing Eddie drink something other than beer for the first time. The whole thing went better than he had expected, in the end.

But then, next Friday came around and Richie found himself being dragged to yet another party.

It just bugged him. Eddie wasn't supposed to be into this. Richie always saw Eddie as someone different, which wasn't fair, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that seeing Eddie drinking and dancing was something odd. Richie couldn't even enjoy the parties, himself. He just stood aside watching him and thinking _"What the fuck changed?"_

Even Ben was a little weirded out. They ended up talking about it, the two of them. But Ben had said that Eddie was happy, and as long as he was careful and conscious, Richie should support him.

Richie tried.

It wasn't like he had the right to think anything about it. It's not his life, Eddie can do whatever he wants. Maybe there was something wrong with Richie, after all, not Eddie. Maybe he was being a shitty, judgmental friend.  
He kept quiet about it, never questioned Eddie or his sudden desire to put himself out there. But he couldn't stop himself from keeping an eye out for him every Friday, even if Eddie stopped asking for their company after a party number four. Richie counted.

That's how he found himself on wobbling knees a few weeks ago, at the sight of Eddie kissing a random guy that he could faintly recognize from one of his classes.

It took every puff of breath out of Richie's lungs, and he had to force himself to turn around and leave before he could set his mind up to go and sock the guy's nose out of his face.

That night, Richie found himself crying in his small and uncomfortable dorm bed and blamed it on the little he had to drink.  
By the time he heard Eddie come back and curse under his breath when he stumbled to find his bed, Richie set his mind to one thing.

He wished they weren't roommates.

Things only got worse after that.  
Eddie started getting quieter during the day. Their conversations became drier and fewer, which broke Richie's heart for reasons he tried not to understand.

Eventually, he did. Richie understood. The feelings he carried and emotions he showed and hid, everything. Eddie was more important to him than he had actually realized.

It wasn't so rough coming to terms with that. Richie accepted it easily, but it only seemed to break him more. Because now he knows what he is facing. The person he fell for kissing other people, the person he fell for getting distant, the person he fell for growing in ways Richie wanted to experience first hand.  
He might have realized all of this months too late, but Richie wished he could have been the first mouth Eddie's lips met. Wished he could have been the first person to dance with him on his first college party, and much more.

That's why it hurt in excruciating ways deep within his chest when, one night, Richie had to watch Eddie leave the party they were currently at, with another boy who kept getting his hands all over his body.

The hardest part, Eddie seemed into it, eager. Their eyes met for a second and, once again, Richie had to sip from his cup and turn to leave before giving too much thought to Eddie’s blown out pupils. He felt sick to his stomach while dragging his feet to their dorm.

Eddie. Eddie touching someone else. Someone else touching Eddie.

That was the last thought swimming through Richie’s brain before he allowed himself to fall on top of the cheap mattress that seemed to have become his best companion over the last semester.

So, maybe the sight of Eddie licking another guy’s mouth open was worth bleaching your eyes for. But instead of bleach, Richie cleaned his eyes out with reluctant, embarrassed tears. Because he had no right to cry over Eddie, no right to blame him for his acts and how they may affect Richie’s feelings that Eddie doesn’t even know about.

And maybe that’s for the best. There’s still a chance to go back, nothing’s ruined yet. But Richie still cried. His efforts to push away the sick, mental images of Eddie’s body under someone else’s not working.

It’s in those moments that he really wished Eddie and him weren’t roommates, because the door opened suddenly, and Richie lifted his head up from the tear stained pillow to stare puzzlingly at the door.

Eddie was leaning against it, looking a bit too pink, messed up hair and the shirt that had been previously tucked inside his jeans was now creased and untidy. Something inside Richie felt incredibly wrong, and to top it all, Eddie wouldn’t look at him, instead just going about his business and getting ready for bed.

Richie should have thought before speaking, but he just had to ask.

“Eds.” He cleared his throat. “Are you okay?”

Richie’s voice must have sounded worse than he realized, because Eddie, who was sitting on his bed with his back turned to Richie, stopped midway of getting his shoes off and snapped his neck to face him.

“Are you crying?” He asked, incredulous. Richie saw Eddie’s tired expression turn into one of worry. “What’s wrong?” He got up, one shoe still on the left foot, and walked over to Richie’s bed. Richie widened his eyes and he shook his head, curls bouncing.

“Rich, you’re crying.” Richie denied it again, giving Eddie some space as the boy climbed up into bed with him and toed the other shoe off. “Your cheeks are literally wet.” Eddie gave a short sympathetic smile. “What happened?”

Richie let his head fall on the pillows again and took in the sight in front of him. Eddie smelled like someone else, his own scent barely there, lost under a layer of sweat and some other boy's cologne. He was dressed up, far too different from the things he used to wear before this whole glow up started. Richie tried to find his Eddie again, in this boy laying beside him. He was scared for a moment that he wouldn’t.

 _I’ve lost him_ , he thought. I’ve lost the most important person in my life.

His mouth worked against his will.

“I- tell me you’re still you, that… that I didn’t lose you...” He whispered through weak sobs, unsure of how to control himself. _“Eds, do you still need me? Tell me you need me.”_

Eddie’s mouth fell open. He was quiet for some time, or long enough for Richie to look away and regret. He probably didn’t make much sense, Eddie probably thought he was plainly drunk.

Finally, he broke the silence. “…You’re the only person I’ll ever need, Richie.” Eddie’s scrunched up his eyebrows. “And I’m still me, I’ll always be me.”

The words made him look up. He searched every bit of Eddie’s face.

It was in his eyes, that always carried something bright, noticeable even in the dark, that Richie found him. Eddie’s eyes are still the same, uncertain, somewhat innocent, young, loveable, trustworthy.

The remaining tears dried up, Eddie’s words enough to calm him down. Richie nodded and allowed his gaze to rest upon other places. Eddie’s hands, shoulders, neck. There were some new marks painting the softest looking skin Richie has ever found. For now, they were mostly red and pink, soon to become purple, and hopefully quick to disappear.

“What happened?” He spoke softly. That’s when he realized his hand had somehow travelled to rest against the bruises painting his neck, fingers slowly tracing them.

Eddie’s behaviour changed in a matter of seconds. His cheeks started to tint, and he turned his body to stare at the ceiling.

“You’ll make fun of me.” He whispered.

“I would never.” With interest, Richie got up on one elbow, wiped his damp cheeks and sniffled. “What’s up?” He pocked Eddie’s ribs.

Shrinking away from the touch, Eddie shrugged and bit his lip. He didn’t look like he’d speak any time sooner.

“I’m assuming it wasn’t hot, heavy sex ‘cause you were gone for like… fifteen minutes?” Richie tried to liven up the mood, but it sort of ended up making it worse for himself. He really didn’t need to know further on the topic.

Eddie groaned, clearly embarrassed. “Yeah, fifteen minutes without me and you had a breakdown, Tozier.” He played right back.

Richie stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. Eddie whined after a bit and covered his face with both hands. “It wasn’t even close to sex…”

Trying not to look too pleased, Richie pushed on. “Then what happened?”

“Nothing happened. That’s kind of the issue.” Eddie sighed and dropped his hands by his sides. Correcting himself, he added. “Well, no. Not an issue, I just-” He groaned, conflicted. “It wouldn’t feel _right_.” Eddie finally looked into Richie’s eyes before continuing. “If it was him, I mean.”

If he wasn’t too careful, Richie thought he’d start crying again, for slightly better reasons, hopefully. “Would if feel right with anyone else?”

“Not anyone…” Eddie didn’t look away. “Just, maybe someone-”

“Bigger?” Richie’s big mouth ruined, yet another, possibly good moment.

 _“No!”_ Immediately, Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose and his features scrunched up in disgust. “What the fuck, Richie, I knew you’d make fun of me!”

“I’m not, I’m not, I swear!” He couldn’t help but chuckle light heartedly through his stuffy nose. Confidently, Richie lowered his head to rest it upon Eddie’s torso. “Sorry…”  
He sighed once Eddie’s fingers started to run through his hair. “Is it bad that that makes me happy?” He whispered.

“Hm?” Eddie inquired, his hands not faltering once.

“That you didn’t have sex tonight.” Richie clarified. _That_ made Eddie’s actions stop for a second. “Is it bad that I’m happy about it? Am I an awful person?” His voice sounded small again.

Eddie didn’t speak for a long time, Richie thought that he wouldn’t breathe again unless Eddie said something. But they just stood there in silence until, eventually, Eddie resumed his actions of untangling the knots in Richie’s hair.

“I left a guy with blue balls, literally ran the fuck out of his room.” Eddie’s words made both of them chuckle, a tiny layer of nervousness palpable. “I told you it didn’t feel right.”

Richie wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something back, either that or Eddie was stuck in what to say next. “You did.”

“It didn’t feel right… because it wasn’t you.” Under his hands, Eddie felt Richie’s body tense up.

In a snap, Richie lifted his head up and stared down at Eddie. He had the biggest dorky smile plastered on his face.

“It’s not a joke, right? I’ll never let you live that down, Eds. You’re fucking stuck with me.” He couldn’t stop his stupid, lovestruck smile.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but Richie saw through that. “Sorry I said someth-”

“Can I kiss you?” Richie cut him off, too much energy vibrating through his veins at the moment. He blurted out. “I’ll make it feel right.”

Eddie simply smiled, eyes always shiny, and brought both hands up to sit on either side of Richie’s face, fingers resting behind his ears. He whispered back.

“I know you will.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! <3 :D  
> and feedback is always welcome, don't forget! (I'm always starving for it)


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